Meditation Day 20 – 0
Day 29?
What does it mean to love myself better? To live a good life? What does it mean to love? What does it mean to be happy? To be joyful?
Is it to live and die without regrets? Moments leading to my deathbed, am I living an independent life with dignity and freedom to be myself? Am I engaged? Am I able to hold conversations? Am I able to listen, learn and grow? Do I have zero regrets on my deathbed?
Well-lived life is the result of eating and sleeping well, dependent on three major ingredients of life: Where you live. What you do for money. Who you marry.
Where do you live?
Are you in the city? Are you in the countryside? Are you in suburbs? Are you in high rises?
I’ve stayed in camper vans, hostels, guesthouses, friends/relatives’ houses, motels, hotels and camp grounds. In cities, suburbs, seaside, and forests. Once, I had to sleep on the floor of a dormitory.
As an adult, I’ve chosen to live in Jewish neighborhoods. This choice has always served me well. In Korea, comparing 청담동 against 연남동, I prefer the latter. Why? While they are both close to train stations, 연남동 is next to a prominent art university, with a mix of people: tourists, travelers and local residents that mix in the 경의선숲길. Two walkways on either side of a small creek. To the right is a dirt packed path under the trees where you are reminded to embrace silence. The paved walkway where the majority of the people go, having to huddle when walking in big groups. Within walking distance to cafes, restaurants and food marts.
My favorite place so far has been Cape Town. It has all of the above with access to the beach and mountains: safe, public transportation, access to public space, informal community, lots to do, local cafes and restaurants, the right balance of buzz and quiet neighborhood with access to airport.
I don’t want to live in big building with high rises. I want to live close to the ground, with informal interactions with the wider community and strangers. Within two hours to international airports.
I’d like to live in three places: Korea, South Africa and the United States, free to come and go with a backpack.
How do you make money:
Who do you work with? What do you do? Are you a specialist? A generalist? Do you look after a team? Are you remote, hybrid or location bound?
In the army, I liked the structure and predictability of rank and file. Corporate life has been good for me, appreciating the high-caliber and professional go-getters that often annoy me, but force to level up. I’ve done my best working on projects, ramping up to work up to 27 hours in a row to enjoying the lull of little to do. I do not like to work the same hours doing the same old thing.
Is it luck, or did I create this way of working? From my first job to the current one, I’ve always had the autonomy to live and work by my terms. I like managing teams and portfolio, expanding my ability to flex and grow, opportunity to lead and develop myself and others.
While it’s provided me the lifestyle of independence and travel, it is not diversified, stuck in the factory worker mind-set of hours in producing dollars out, with the government taking more than 50% of my earned wages.
And so, while it is unfamiliar and uncomfortable, I would like to generate secondary and tertiary passive incomes. As a published and sought out Author. Speaker. Moderator. Integrator. Meditating, working out, moving my body and mind.
Who do you marry? Who you spend the majority of your time with?
I haven’t married, and this is something I’d like to experience, now that I have cultivated and maintained a healthy and nourishing relationship with myself. If you don’t know how to be alone, you’ll always be lonely. I have not chosen well. Letting the pain body and past traumas attract the same type with different faces. Lingering too long and not cutting ties sooner. Being deliberate and intentional with this endeavor, I’ve been to 16 first dates in the past ten months, with six leading to second dates, and 2 converting to third dates. Learning how to value my time, my potential partner, and becoming more discerning with my standards.
I have great relationships with friends, family and work colleagues. It wasn’t always like this. For ten years, I had no friends. For few years, all I wanted was to be invited to meetings to get to know my colleagues better. What I have achieved today, has been the continuous effort of showing up, listening to understand and leveraging my natural talents: taking the time to notice and appreciate people as they are.
I now value my relationships based on the reciprocal effort. Are they listening to understand? Do they invest as much as I do into the relationship? How do I feel around them?
What does my gut say? Am I better with them, or am I worse off? Do I become a better version of myself or someone I detest myself?
This love letter goes out to traveling and experiencing new places, becoming a better version of myself. Noticing and getting to know myself better, engaging in more self-dialogue, away from the day to day routines (which I miss). While I love traveling, 8 is the perfect number of days to be away from home. To integrate the catalyst of different perspectives to appreciate the home life of the ordinary abundance.
Monil2_House – Gluten free bakery that was closed today.

Spring Bakery in Hongdae – Contemporary bakery with my preferred interior of clean lines and wooden frames.
