Meditation 45 – 30 minutes
Exercise 53
Mind a flutters. So much to do and I’ve left myself little time. The stress I create for myself. White rabbit, checking for time, yelling, “I’m late, I’m late!”
After 30 minute meditation, I rise. Gentle and warm water falls on my back and I utter “I’m so happy”. Pumping shampoo twice on my left hand. Clear and pink gel, I rub onto to the top of scalp, both hands rubbing gently, mixing a bit of water to create foam. Tips of my fingers gently massage scalp, before feeling the water rush over me. Another two pumps onto my left palm, with conditioner on the bottom of my head. Feeling the glossy liquid softening every follicle and strand.
This time, I pump the body wash. Not enough soap, so I uncap the top to add a bit of water, before closing and shaking it a bit. Onto the red body towel, I squeeze the bottle, and I scrub. Holding it on my right hand, I start with my left forearm, ending with my back.
As water washes away all the soap and scum, I exhale. How good does it feel to feel the body cleanse against the soft and warm shower that hits every pore and surface of my being?
It is not even 5am, and so I use three towels to dry. Being considerate not to wake up my neighbors.
I put on a green dress, feeling the fabric sway as I climb the three flights of stairs. I feel a small joy.
On the promenade, I feel hesitant with the darkness. I used to be afraid of ghosts. I spend my days in the shadow, relying on candles and incense when night comes. But I am now aware of people’s indelible intentions lurking in the dark.
As I cross to the other side, a woman wearing a bouquet, donning a backpack and a set of jacket greets me, “good morning”, surprising me. A man is sitting up on the grass, getting up for the day, folding his blanket. I cross the brick road to walk alongside the sea wall, waves crashing.
Two men walk alone. One woman runner. Few more, and a pair running alongside. Few are out and about. A tall man runs past, breathing hard as he sprints.
Sea foam clings to the sea wall, reminiscent of recent crash from the night before. Just past the rhino, a long line of waves form; white foam against the edge, illuminating the horizon. This body of water, crashing against jagged edges, how far have you traveled? Where do you come from? I wouldn’t have noticed the water had it not crashed and broken against the surface. And so, I wonder. Life’s challenges and obstacles are like these rocks. We are the water. It’s only during these times our true nature is revealed. Do we crumble under pressure, or do we rise to the occasion? I feel as if. No, I have been feeling the pressure, with me crumbling into inedible crumbs of a cookie I no longer crave. Shapes and size of my being not clear in my own mind.
My senses heighten, listening for every sound. Scanning for danger, not wanting to expose myself to stray strangers. Turning my head to my right, I see a man running past.
This love letter goes out to early mornings. Little routines and habit leading to the promenade, onto this cafe, with my body exhaling and relaxing, with the every intention of finishing the long overdue and important.
Has it already been 72 days?
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