Meditation 33 – 1 hour with Metta
Exercise Day – 41
“Pressure is privilege”, Tom Cruise
Today, I present the revised policy to the entire group in four 1-hour sessions. I don corporate wear on top, with buttons and collar and all. I brush my hair and draw in eyebrows. I am camera ready. First. Second. Third. Fourth. I feel myself getting better with every presentation. Growing more confident and articulate. It’s not hard to present topic I designed and authored. The policy. Way of working. Systems and procedures we use day to day. Able to handle every question without delay. Answering them to remind them the order of operations. It’s always more difficult and longer to stream upstream.
I have volunteered to co-host the Sangha Vipassana this Sunday. And so, I decide to join the group sit in town to marketing the event. The hostess offers dinner after the one-hour sit and asks for R50 or R100 for contribution towards groceries. I get there to find another meditator waiting to cross the road safely, a cushion on his hand.
A big turnout – likely due to bean chilies garnished with chopped up onions, avocado, cream, and lime. Served with a slice of corn bread and chocolate-mousse dessert after. I eat though I’m not hungry. It feels to share meals with people, sitting together. A lady I keep running to gives an update on her life. She has a job working with a team, appreciating the steady source of income without having to hustle for every client,doing heavy work of helping people through addictions, on the back of Gabor Mate’s methods.
I EFT R300 to the hostess, seeing how much food she’s made. She responds, “That’s very generous of you. I’m not working at the moment and I spent more than planned for groceries. It’s wonderful to see the Sangha growing. Thanks for showing up to sell Sangha.”
The next day, I devour the chocolate dessert after my last presentation. I needed something sweet and decadent after bleeding.
Here is to Sangha. To communities of our creation from being deliberate and intentional about showing up. Contributing. To preparing. To practicing.
To me, for no longer being afraid to speaking up. After doing the work of growing confident with Toastmasters, completing 10 prepared speeches. So that I can apply the pressure to do what matters. Seeing it as a privilege earned and what feeds me.
I look forward to the next Mission Impossible. I admire Tom Cruise for doing what he loves, getting skills along the way, not shying away from his own stunts, growing as he goes.