Meditation Day 17 – 0
Day 26 – well done!
Last night, I scoured the web to find a Korean barbecue restaurant, finding the best one near where she’s staying. Waking up early, I pack up, pay for the remainder of my stay, and run to catch the train to my first destination. It’s a busy morning, and I walk as fast as I can.
As I arrive, I ask her to step out the door, to please talk when we are walking.
“You should have gotten here sooner. Why didn’t you wake up early?” …
As we walk to the restaurant, I go the wrong way and correct myself after 100 meters.
“My legs hurt, so I’m not supposed to walk far, why are you taking me this way?”
“I’m sorry. It’s not too far. I took the wrong way.”
As we sit, we notice how deserted the place is. Side dishes not looking great.
“This place doesn’t look that great.”
As we talk, I find myself getting frustrated. Eventually, giving up. It doesn’t matter what I say, as she is clear on what she wants to say. What she believes in.
“Why don’t you eat the rest of the meat?”, I ask.
“I don’t like pieces with a lot of fat.”
She pays for the meal we both didn’t enjoy.
“Can you show me how to use the washer? I’ve never used one in Korea.”
I turn the knobs and show her how different settings change the time and temperature. Do you want it to be cold or hot? Cold, she says. I turn it off by accident, and this time, press the play button, to start the wash.
“It doesn’t say how long it’s going to take”
“AI will determine the time based on the weight of your load.”
One hour and ten minutes start the clock. I stretch and eat a corn before heading out.
“Why don’t you stay until the wash is done?”
“It’s another 41 minutes.”
“Can’t you wait?”
“I have plans and I’m quite busy. When the wash is done, it’ll play a sound, and you will hear the door unlock with a click. You’ll be fine.”
One hour to my next destination, three different trains with 800meters walk to my aunt’s place. Once there, I let myself in with the door password. Everything here is digital and so, convenient.
I open boxes and envelopes revealing cosmetics and skincare products I ordered online. I leave to withdraw money from my South African account to put it into my Korean one. Inside the store, I buy a pair of shorts and sweatpants that fit my body. Buying clothes here. Everything that touches my skin is so easy. Everything designed and made to fit my body. This is when I feel myself being Korean.
“Where are you?” my cousin calls.
“I’m shopping.”
“We’ll go meet you at Lotte Mart.”
Once there, my cousins’ kids act up and are forced to go back home with their mom. At the mart, my aunt buys me a rash guard, zip up hoodie, seaweed, dried Pollak and mixed seaweed back.
At the restaurant, they order what I want to eat. They don’t even like crabs. I eat as much as I can, the honored guest, having experienced the feeling of not receiving gratitude for the effort that went into picking up a place to eat. Even if not everything is to my taste, I say everything is wonderful.
“What is your bank account number? I will transfer money to you so you can pay towards the monthly 청약금. 니꺼 계자번호 여기에다 써놔. 이모가 매달 넣어줄께.”
I feel the difference between the two meals.
This love letter goes to my aunt for treating me with love and care whenever she sees me. Always thinking about me and showing me with her words and actions.
“How you start is how you sustain.”
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