Meditation Day 16 – 0
Day 25?
To getting to know people close to me. And by doing so, getting to know myself better. To appreciating time with family and friends. To having thoughtful conversations where people feel safe to confide in me, knowing that I won’t spill their beans.
I’ve been here before and something feels off. After walking in circles, I check the confirmation text. The GPS got the location wrong. I’m 17 minutes away on foot or 10 minutes via taxi. I message my cousin, feeling rushed. I get there in 10 minutes and rush through lunch. My fourth meal in Seoul, and my favorite that agrees with my body. Not too spicy and delicate flavors. Omakase style.
“omakase” in Japanese means I leave it to you.
I tell my cousin that the map is broken. “Show me.” After a quick glances, he smiles, “You entered the wrong place. Is that place still there?”
I had entered 스시아이 but auto correct made it into 스시아지… The last letter sending me into a spiral. Funny how I blame others when I entered the wrong address. Especially after telling him and friends over lunch yesterday that as you get older, your ability to solve problems diminishes.
He doesn’t let me pay. Instead, I buy coffee for his staff. After he’s done cleaning, we go out for coffee and snacks.
He tells me a secret. People like confiding in me. “You should only two things when looking for a partner. Get rid of all other expectations,” he tells me. His? She must not go to church and she must be younger than 35 to be able to have children. He’s always wanted kids. He says I look better and younger than when he saw me from few years ago. He cheers me on for putting myself out there and going to all these classes.
As we enter a building, I scurry just behind him, a turnstyle designed for one person. “It’s only for one person!” he protests. “I’m probably the only person in your life that will play with you in this way.” He agrees and we laugh.
He says he doesn’t like people. He wears a mask so he doesn’t have to talk much and hide his expressions. He is clear on what he likes and what he wants to do with his my time.
As we walk, I check my phone and I need to get back to attend an important meeting, and start my work day. Instead of going towards the river, I direct him to the bus station. As we say goodbye, I give him a big hug, and I get back to the Hoppin House.
A close colleague has been given a retrenchment letter, and another close one has been affected. “How do you feel”, she asks me. “It’s like being inside the hurricane. Not knowing when it’s going to take off.”
Lessons learned in the five days I’ve been here.
Prioritization and commitment go hand-in-hand. Order of operation changes everything.
Dedicating first waking moments to myself to meditate, write and watch the light push out the night ensure I keep my commitment to myself, the most important person in my life. By doing what matters the most first thing in the morning, I can go through the day with ease and confidence. Not only that… I have very little left to give at the end of the day. With 57 minutes to go, I wonder what I would have written had I started my day with this love letter.
As I think about what to write to my future self one year from now, I wonder how I want my life to look and feel. What kind of work am I doing? Who I am spending my waking and before going to sleep moments with. Where I am.
Life cannot be lived like omakase.
I must leave it to myself to create the future by doing what I need to, in the present moment.
What would be on your postcard to your future self?
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