Space between me and my little sister has evolved over the years.
I used to walk her home from school.
I used to help her take showers and get dressed.
I used to help her with her reading. Nudging her to summarize what she read, instead of reciting word for word. She hated me at the time, but later, she tells me this has helped her with reading comprehension and critical thinking. Ha!
According to her, I was the evil sister (I was perhaps misunderstood).
I was frightened with her well-timed pranks (best ones actually).
I thought she had the easiest life of all of us (I was wrong).
I thought she the best taken care of all of us (wrong again).
I was blind and saw very little. She became the lens and compass to guide me towards my true north. Helping me understand my past and keep me present.
We transitioned from older sister/younger sister relationship into adults choosing to support each other. A true friendship.
I call my little sister, feeling overwhelmed with surging waves roiling my way. A grey cloud ready to downpour, like the weather from this morning. She answers from sunny Mexico, respite from the Northeastern winter. Hola!
During our call, she reminds me of myself of where I am in the context of where we come from. The past we share, framed in her words.
Well-meaning friends have been advising me to be kind to myself, but they fail to connect with my heart. My little sister’s words ring true, vibrating. Synchronizing with the frequency of my being.
A friend checks in, a daily ritual. She has opened up her home; shares her resources generously with open arms. She encourages me and cheers me on.
A friend calls as I peer out into the horizon, watching the sun setting. “Why did you leave so early? Are you okay? You look great!”
Me: “I’m feeling a bit down actually, but that’s good to know I look great! I left early to watch the sunset.”
Thereafter, a call from a friend with her sharing her lesson: “No more accommodating others. It’s about me.” Bravo!
Then another friend calls. Checking in, asking how I am.
She invites me to level up. It’s time to graduate.
“It’s one thing to feel and acknowledge. That’s good, but now we have to graduate. Take the next step.
Ask yourself, ‘Is this serving me or working against me?’ Then recognize it when it’s self-sabotage. Then, tell the thought that you have no space here. Then you move on. Continue to live your best life.”
She reminds me of the list I created few years ago, listing traits and qualities dear to my heart. Reading them out loud, I see the importance of figuring out what I want. What do you want? Do you know?
I needed this love and affection today, feeling rather low. “…When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” ∼ Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
Who keeps our fire going? The fire of our lives. The burning of the past, to clear the forest to let new seedlings sprout and grow. Harvesting, consuming, burning and starting over. Always starting over, this cycle of spring, summer, fall and winter.
Friends I’ve chosen over the years. The ones I continue to choose for today and tomorrow. People I’ve nurtured and watered. They grow to help me weed my gardens. To provide the shade in the hottest days. Opening umbrella to shield me from the rain. Creating shelter for my tired bones to rest. Watering me when I am parched.
Thank you for keeping my fire alive. Thank you for breathing oxygen into my body. My eyes fill with tears of happiness. Gratitude and joy. My goodness, how lucky am I, to have you in my life. How special is it to be invited into yours? And together, we dance. Our flames embrace.
Surging waves become smaller and fewer in between. I feel safer. I am safe…
I wonder…
Perhaps I have grown into a giant. These waves, no matter how big they appear to my child-like and wonderous eyes, no longer are the size of tsunami of turmoil and destruction. Gentle waves tickle my feet.
This love letter is to my friends.
10 = X
Two Vs (Victory signs!) come together
Making kissy faces, adding two numbers together
1+0 = 10; Not 1+0 = 1
Best relationships and business deals are always greater than sum of individual parts
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