5 days in a row of morning meditations and 4 evenings.
비 온다. 온 세상이 잔잔해진다. 집에 처박혀있지 않고, 이렇게 나와 커피 마시며 밖을 쳐다보고 있다. 그러고 싶어서. 내가 나를 위해 편지를 쓴다. 버스 한 대가 지나간다. 일꾼들도 천천히 걸어간다. 미래의 여기는 미국의 캘리포니아 처럼 바뀔거다. 시간은 뒤돌아보지 않는다. 눈은 얼굴에 밖혀있고. 과거는 지났고, 물은 위로 흐르지 않는다.
To days that rain and stop. To skies painted baby blue, a litttle bit darker, with hues of white, covered in thick grey blanket. A sight visible to those dare to look beyond the screen and what is in front of us.
To going outside. Saying no to staying in, covered in blankets. Saying yes to being exposed to the world. Sitting at Montreal Coffee & Bagels, easy music plays in the background and cars drive slowly on the wet pavement. City bus rolls forward, carrying people on their way to work.
As I look around construction sites, I imagine what this place will look like in five years. I imagine it won’t be different from Los Angeles or San Francisco. Little shops replaced by national and global brands like Poetry, already open for business.
I wonder if I should buy one of these high rises going up now. Secure the place close to the promenade that I love so much. A clear and safe pathway to go for walks in between the rains, hails, heat and the night. Patrolled by policemen and safety crew alike. To make the beggars move, preventing informal camps, making it nicer for locals and visitors alike.
The phrase that keeps going through my head, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.”
And so, I am getting clearer with my actions, with a clearer purpose. Finish 100 days of love letters. Start and close with meditations. Get at least 6000 steps in. Use the Health app to monitor my movements. Go for walks in between meetings. Use the gaps. Don’t wait for perfetion. Do the work. Volunteer. Speak up.
Remember. There is a difference between doing and getting it done.
We often get stuck with doing, analyzing, thinking and planning. We actually never get it done.
It’s like this. If you turn on the light switch, you expect it to work. You don’t care that one wire out of 100 is frayed and doesn’t’ work. It’s 99% in the worker’s mind. The customer sees 0.
While we celebrate efforts and hard work, we are measured in binary. On or Off.
Smiles and pleasantries are part of the process, but that’s not the primary driver.
Do smile. Greet people. It makes a difference. Like this morning, as I rounded the corner and turned around, I smiled at the woman who smiled back. An informal exchange with strangers.
Wow, look at that. The blue and white is pushing out the grey! I’m getting exactly what I asked for when deciding to move to Cape Town. I wanted to be in a place whose weather changes, to help me feel the change of time. The passing of seconds and minutes. Not to create chaos or hurry me. Just help me keep clock time, because my sense of time in stillness conflicts against the reality of life. The practical side of setting up and showing up for meetings. The balancing act of dream vs. reality.
Like last night, talking to someone new. He is afraid to go back to work, doing what he’s been doing for thirty years after taking a break. Worrying how to market art he wants to create. If you like working that gives you sense of purpose and accountabiilty, why is it bad? Why do we villify work? What will we do with ourselves once automation takes over? Have you seen Wall-E? I don’t want to ride in hover chairs, growing fat and being too comfortable to sweat.
Why do you care about marketing and selling? You can afford to create bad art. Do a bad job. Then, at least it will be done. And you can move on.
Here I am, eating what I sell. Writing. Doing a bad job. A job, still. And so, when I am done, I can go back and put on the work face. To drive up accountability. To get things done. To move us forward. Not as the driver, but as the enabler. The catalyst to create chemical reaction to move away from zero sum game. To get to 1+1+1 = 1000.
Remembering what I read last year. Why worry about competition? Why waste time looking outside when I can look within? Be so good and so far ahead of them, you trail blaze and leave everyone behind. Move on. Play by your own rules. Create your own game.
With a smile, I end this love letter.
Everything changes. Yet, everything remains.