Meditation Day 19 – 56 minutes on the top bunk
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Driving back up to Seoul, I listen to the Diary of a CEO with Steve Bartlett interviewing Master Shi Heng Yi.
According to the Shaolin monk, there are five hindrances to self-Mastery:
1. Craving of sensual desires (sight, touch, taste, smell, hearing) – Pull it towards us and it will swing away from us.
2. Aversion or ill will – Move it away from us. It’ll always come back to us.
He demonstrates by holding a necklace away from him. If you pull it towards us, it will swing away from us.
If you push it away, it will swing back towards you.
My thoughts, speech and actions have consequences. And thus, I must ask the three questions that I forget too often. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
3. Dullness/Heaviness – Am I unmotivated?
4. Restlessness – Is my mind running a mock?
5. Self-doubt – Indecisive
How do we recover from these hindrances?
Recognize what I am experiencing
Accept what is happening without identification
Investigate why I am feeling this way
Non identification with that experience
To meditate is to see and experience things as they are. Without making up stories and living in the made-up world of our minds. Few years ago, Shaman Sean told me, “You can relieve the past with the present. Stop looking backwards, and be in the present.”
What does Master Yi do first thing in the morning? He tries to start the day empty, by sitting still. Then standing and holding the position. And so, I am motivated to meditate… but I know I cannot rely on motivation, as this needs to become a daily practice, no matter what. No matter where I am and where I am flying to. All these excuses with no legs to stand on.
Listening to the podcast twice, which is what I do if it resonates me. I look at my non-meditation days. And so, after starting the wash, I go up to the top bunk to meditate. New headphones in my ears. After 32 minutes, my mind continues to wander. But I continue to sit for the 52 minutes, to get through the finishing Metta.
Master Yi says we are brought up to strive more. Do better. Do more. When we are already enough. We are already abundant. We are exactly where we are supposed to be.
5:40pm SA time, 12:41am tomorrow here locally. Why am I supposed to be here? What am I supposed to see and learn to let go of? Initially, I booked the ticket and a place to stay to check out today. Letting someone talk me into staying longer, saying it would be too short.
But it would have been perfect, to have spent the 7 days exactly at a place I had longed to return to. Last year, I made peace with leaving. Learning that where I am from is not necessarily where I belong.
Master Yi says we can only learn skills from masters and mentors, but we must use them to live our own lives. No one else will live them for us.
As I sit to write this love letter to the end of sufferings. Wrapping my arms around her, I feel her shake. The pain and incredulity that I know too well. Even now, memories that make me shudder, my body shaking. Yet, I have come a long way. To forgive and not break down. To move on, and clear the air.
I wasn’t born to suffer. I am meant to use my suffering to come out of it. To help those closest to my karmic ties come out of it with my act, and my spreading of metta, to share my good karma and positive vibrations.
To end suffering. To find peace. To be at peace requires self-mastery to do what is good for me, without distractions or confusions.
With Continuity of practice, Consistency builds. With consistency, Competence is attained. And with competence, Confident, we become, dispelling self-doubt, dullness and restlessness. By focusing our energy to do what matters to us the most.
After meditating and closing the day with this love letter, I vow to get up early to get to my first destination at least one hour early, in order to do what is important and urgent. To live my life, using the skills and lessons learned from masters and universe. To trust myself to do what is right and necessary. To level up once again, graduating this phase of my life. To begin anew. To another empty beginning, despite the doubt, restlessness and what ifs playing on my mind.
Thanks for reading. I hope your day was as prime as you are.
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